‘If you have the power to eat alone in a restaurant, or sit alone in a cinema, then you have the power to do absolutely anything you want in life’ ~Daniel Craig
Dining alone used to be something I avoided at all costs. It seemed like one of the most anxiety-provoking things I could put myself through. The process felt overwhelming ~ from walking in alone, possibly being stared at, to sitting awkwardly with no one to talk to. I was so focused on what others might think that I couldn’t enjoy the meal or the moment. In my defense, I grew up as an identical twin. We lived our lives side by side until the age of 30. So yes, there’s some codependency there too 🙂
Something shifted as I began traveling alone more and more. Eventually, the entire experience flipped from anxiety to a source of joy and empowerment. What also helped was reading The Artist Way. Julia Cameron talks about ‘Artist Dates’. They are meant to be weekly solo outings or activities that nurture your inner artist, inspire creativity and replenish your creative well. This invitation to embrace alone time really landed. Also, as a chef, food is always inspiring! Dining alone has grown into one of my favorite outings. Over the last few years, I’ve regularly conversed (with myself) about the positive reasons to embrace eating stag. The reasons were present no matter where I was in the world. I’m finally writing them down, so here are my 7 reasons to go out and enjoy a meal alone!
1. Supreme Autonomy & Self Care
Everything about dining out alone supports supreme autonomy. It is a series of personal choices all within your control. From your choice of restaurant, how you get there, what time you eat, what you drink and what you order. You can indulge in a decadent coursed meal or make it a quickie without compromising or accommodating anyone else’s preferences. Even the tiny details, like whether to linger over dessert or pay quickly and leave, are entirely up to you. How often do you have this level of freedom? If eating alone allows you to create these fun, independent moments for yourself, why not grab it?
For some people, dining solo might feel indulgent, with thoughts like – ‘I should save money and eat in’ or ‘I should spend this time with my family’ or ‘I should share this experience with someone else’. There are A LOT of shoulds there, and shoulding through life is a low vibe. In many ways, dining alone is an act of self-care, a chance to cater solely to your desires without the external pressures of others.
2. Witness Love as an Observer
This might be my favorite reason for loving to eat alone. I get chills just thinking about it. Food is one of the strongest currencies in the world, and it is a great equalizer. We all have to eat. It is a focal point of life, culture, love and existence. When you dine alone, you witness love as an observer. You might see a couple meeting for dinner after long workdays, a daughter taking her mom out for birthday dinner, or students back from college enjoying their favorite restaurant together.
These magical moments are real-life movies you naturally observe when dining alone. And in those moments, you realize that even in your solitude, you are never truly alone ~ you’re part of life’s beautiful, divine cinema.
3. House to Yourself
When making plans with groups and having your heart set on specific restaurants, it is imperative to make reservations. I’ve found this rule doesn’t always apply to the solo adventurer. Sometimes, when I’m busy, I don’t have time to research restaurants or make reservations. My little trick is opting for an early dinner, which works like a charm. Arrive when the restaurant begins dinner service, and they’ll most likely seat you. You’ll often have the house to yourself, creating a unique dining experience in a beautiful, serene environment.
The servers are usually in good spirits since their shift just started, and they tend to offer gestures that make your meal even more special. And for my IG gals and guys, this is THE PERFECT time to snap those pristine restaurant and food pics ~ without any distractions! If you arrive later and a table isn’t available, don’t worry. The bar is a great option, which leads to our 4th reason to embrace eating alone while traveling.
4. Your Bartender is Your Bestie
The bar is a dynamic playground, so put your phone down and see what surprises the barstool might bring!
That’s right, your bartender is your bestie! They’re a treasure trove of insider knowledge about your new surroundings. Many bartenders love socializing – that’s why they’re behind the bar! They’re often super friendly and open to conversation. As locals, they know the culture & city like the back of their hand. They’ll gladly share their time and tips if you’re a good guest.
When a table isn’t available, always say yes to the bar! In fact, when I’m alone, I often choose the bar over a table anyway because, you guessed it, this is where other solo diners hang out to eat and drink. The bar is a dynamic playground, so put your phone down and see what surprises the barstool might bring!
5. Solitude Often Leads to Socializing!
Yes, we’re here to channel our inner badass and enjoy a fantastic meal alone while savoring every moment. But spoiler alert – solitude often leads to socializing! LOL. I don’t make the rules. Picture this: Rach and I are out together, extra tan, in our twin bubble with naturally stern faces. It takes a brave soul to approach us, truth. Or when I’m with my best guy friend, we’re wrapped up in our own vibe – it takes someone very bold to say hi.
But when I head out to dinner solo with a good attitude, an open heart and a readiness to embrace the night, there’s a high chance I’ll meet people. When you open yourself to the universe, beautiful synchronicities happen. It could be a local you sat down next to sharing hidden city gems, the restaurant owner insisting you try their latest dessert, or bonding with fellow travelers at a communal table. I recall one time in Lisbon, shutting down this cute wine bar with the owner. By the end of the night we were creating a new cocktail together for his happy hour!
Dining solo allows space for these spontaneous connections. By embracing your company, you invite the universe to send you meaningful encounters and shared experiences, enriching your journey. Looking back, it’s clear these moments were destined to happen ~ like cosmic winks from the universe 😇
6. Presence & Confidence
Dining alone is a powerful exercise in presence and confidence. Without the usual dinner conversation, you become fully attuned to your surroundings, savoring each bite and genuinely appreciating the ambiance. This mindful presence deepens your connection to the moment and reinforces your confidence in navigating solo spaces. It’s more than just a meal – it’s a practice in trusting yourself. Take it one step further and challenge yourself to relish your next solo meal without checking your phone. (I’m one to talk, as I sometimes have full-blown text chats with Meta AI while eating 🙆🏽♀️, work in progress, y’all!)
Overcoming the initial discomfort of being alone gives you the confidence to handle any situation, whether navigating a foreign city, saying yes to new experiences, or simply sitting with your thoughts (emphasizing Sir Daniel’s quote above). This confidence isn’t limited to the restaurant; it’s a transferable life skill that empowers you to move through the world with self-assurance. Each meal reinforces your ability to trust your choices and flow into new environments with grace and ease.
7. Embracing Impermanence
Solo dining confronts me with the reality of being alone – without friends or a life partner with whom to share the current experience. But in these moments, I remind myself of the impermanence of everything. Nothing in life is forever. So, I choose to radically embrace my solo meals, knowing they reflect this current chapter of my journey. The same radical embrace applies when a friend or sibling joins me on the road. Embrace, embrace, embrace, & celebrate everything you’re being offered. Stop thinking life should be any particular way ~ that’s just not true. And there’s another ‘should’!
I remember being alone in Greece years ago, dining on a cobblestone street, probably one of the most romantic in Europe. As I witnessed so much love and sharing around me ~ families passing dishes, lovers splitting cake, I was suddenly swept with a deep sense of loneliness. But in that moment, I reminded myself to choose to enjoy the beauty of being alone in such a beautiful place. Tomorrow could look very different. More importantly, tomorrow isn’t guaranteed.
Here’s to Dining Alone 🥂
Solo meals remind us that we can gracefully navigate life’s uncertainties, whether sitting at a restaurant or dealing with a significant life event. They offer moments of self-reflection, an invitation to slow down and savor one of the greatest pleasures in life ~ food!
By embracing change as the only constant, we realize that every phase, whether spent in solitude or shared with others, is both fleeting and deeply significant. Today, it might be a quiet dinner for one. Tomorrow, it could be shared laughter with friends or the beginning of something more with a partner. No matter the circumstance, each meal reflects where we are now.
So, here’s to dining alone. To cultivating confidence in solitude, loving our own company and being our best friend (along with the bartender 🙌🏽). Because if there’s one thing we can count on, it’s the impermanence of everything, and that’s precisely what makes life so provocative.
Buen provecho,
Bekah
PS ~ If you are ready to book that next trip, don’t miss our favorite tricks for saving money on flights here!
