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The 7 Biggest Lessons I’ve Learned Living on the Road

staying safe as a solo female traveler

I want to share the biggest 7 lessons I’ve learned living on the road. It all started in April 2023 when I spent most of the month in Memphis, Tennessee for work. Little did I know that trip would be the start of my journey living and working on the road until today (and beyond!). Over the past year and a half, I’ve visited home a few times to catch up with friends, repack my suitcase and water my plants (j/k!). My most recent stop was to let go of my Venice Beach apartment and car, and to put the rest of my belongings into a 5×5 storage unit.

The inspiration to live this way has been a long time coming. My first trip outside North America was during college when I studied abroad. When Rachel and I landed in Valencia, Spain, our lives changed forever. We were instantly captivated by witnessing how other people live. That milestone sparked a curiosity I don’t think will be tamed in this lifetime.

Set It & Forget It

From that trip onward, we craved seeing the world in a BIG way. Candidly, not having to ‘come back home’ all the time was the goal. It was quite a goal, especially since the digital nomad lifestyle wasn’t really a thing yet. This is where you set your dreams and let the Universe take over ~ what Rach and I call ‘set it & forget it’ (yes, just like that rotisserie infomercial for those who remember 😂). By 2015, some of my work was virtual, but my chef work wasn’t. I spent the next 8 years traveling as much as possible but still craving not always having to come home. Sometimes, that’s such a buzz kill! In the spring of 2023, everything aligned perfectly. With my remote job in tow, I hit the road, diving in headfirst.

As I wrapped up my time in Memphis, the world became my oyster. I bounced around the US a bit, then headed to Mexico ~ one of my favorite pastimes. Baja and Sayulita treated me right with surf, while CDMX was the perfect dose of city life. A European summer was next, for my best friend’s wedding. After a brief visit back to LA, I was off again to Mexico (naturally!), Puerto Rico, Miami and a mini South America tour. Alas, Rach and I reunited in Africa for one of our most significant bucket lists – a safari! After Africa, it was Rome, then Portugal. And don’t even ask how I ended up in Peru after Portugal ~ it just happened. A quick stop home to liquidate, and now I’m on my Southeast Asia tour, which is still in full swing.

Nothing is Guaranteed

It’s been a dream come true to follow what the bright-eyed 21-year-old me felt in her bones all those years ago. But I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t unnerving & scary at times. There’s a sacredness in having a place to call home. There’s beauty in being able to walk to a friend’s house for a chat, comfort in ordering your favorite takeaway, and nothing quite compares to your bed. As much as I like comfort, my curiosity for the world is stronger. When I feel uncomfortable or miss those cozy things, I remind myself that nothing in life is forever. So, I embrace the moment. One, because this is one of my dreams I’m living out, and two, because everything could change at any moment.

Work, relationships, the state of the world ~ nothing is guaranteed. So, without further story time, these are the biggest lessons I’ve learned living on the road.

danang beach vietnam

The 7 Biggest Lessons I’ve Learned Living on the Road

1. Magic Lies Between Planning & Flowing

I’ve learned time and time again that magic lies between planning and flowing. I do enough research to know what I want to see and what I absolutely can’t miss. I check if I need tickets or reservations in advance, and that’s about it. The rest is left to following my instincts – whether by scooter, walking, surfing, hiking, or exploring whatever adventure comes my way. The more I allow myself to flow, the more I encounter incredible, serendipitous experiences I could never have planned.

For instance, while I was in Vietnam, I met a girl named Jessica on her last day in Hoi An before she was heading to Cambodia. A few days later, we reunited for dinner in Siem Reap, where she had made a few new friends. The next day, we all toured Angkor Wat together by Tuk Tuk. Sharing the awe of the temples with others made the experience even more meaningful. Had I overplanned with my own tours and guides, I would have missed out on this unforgettable day with new friends.

2. Let Go of FOMO

Letting go of FOMO is huge, especially the longer you’re on the road. You’ll constantly meet travelers fresh off the boat with shiny new plans, doing things you’ve never even heard of. It’s easy to feel like you need to beef up your schedule when you learn about new sights or activities. I say, take it with a grain of salt and stay true to yourself. What do you actually want to do? Sit with it. Ask yourself this question. Are you trying to add a hike in elevation to your itinerary just for the pics at the top while you hate hiking and aren’t in shape for elevation? Stop it. Live your truth and go on your trip, nobody else’s.

This hit me in Vietnam. I was on Instagram seeing all these reels ~ ‘speakeasies not to miss in Ha Noi’ ‘most beautiful cafes in Hoi An’ ‘Asia’s top rated beaches in An Bang’. Enough was enough. I am in Vietnam, having the time of my life being marketed Vietnam. At that moment, I deleted the Instagram app for a week just to get my autonomy and thoughts back. I wanted to make sure I was doing what I wanted and not what an algorithm deemed worthy & trendy.

3. Overpacking Will Kill Your Joy

I can’t stress this enough: overpacking will kill your joy. Trust me, I’m a recovering overpacker. I always say I’m a minimalist maximalist, lol. If you are an overpacker, you will not wear more than half of what you are packing no matter how long your trip is. So why not save your back and the stress of having a heavy suitcase? As a solo female traveler, I know I have to be able to handle my bags. When they are too heavy, it kills my joy. Each pack day and airport run is filled with extra anxiety. Why are we doing this to ourselves? In the name of fashion? Pack your favorite things you feel great in, and lead with your heart and personality when you hit the town. Problem solved.

This lesson landed for me in Bali. We initially planned to hop over to a neighboring island for three days but ended up extending the trip for two more weeks. I lived out of a backpack and my ‘three-day wardrobe’, which was more than enough. I felt so liberated. That small backpack was all I needed. Inspired by that experience, I downsized my suitcase into a duffel bag for the next six months of travel, and I realized most of my ‘airport anxiety’ was gone.

4. Stay a While

If time is on your side, stay a while. One of the greatest advantages of living on the road is not being in a constant rush. I try to stay in each country for as long as the initial visa allows, and if I’m really enjoying it, I consider extending my visa. This approach lets you truly immerse yourself in the culture. You meet locals, discover hidden gems and make friends. You also get to dive deeper into everyday life ~ whether it’s joining workout classes, exploring the café scene or attending special events. Having this kind of time is a richness money can’t buy.

When I was in Cusco, Peru, I had time on my side. I enrolled in two weeks of Spanish lessons, something I had always dreamed of doing. Because I was traveling slowly, I still had plenty of time to work, attend my lessons, and explore the city’s amazing sights.

cebu philippines waterfalls

5. Loneliness & Rituals

Loneliness will inevitably creep in if you’re traveling alone for an extended period. It shows up at unexpected times, and if you don’t take care of yourself, it can linger and gnaw at you. But if you have the right tools, you can learn to work with it. I’ve experienced both ends of this spectrum. The key is to find grounding practices that keep you anchored in gratitude. Develop a routine, though it may shift from city to city or country to country. Prioritize your mental health and hold yourself accountable. Make time for calls and FaceTime with friends ~ it’s an instant mood booster and reminds you of the community you have, no matter where you are. Stack the deck in your favor: work in cafes, join workout or art classes, check out meet-up groups, or volunteer. Nothing beats human connection, it is the antidote.

Creating rituals has also been a game-changer for me. Right now, I’m in West Java, and I’ve started my own little happy hour! As the sun sets, I grab my soda water, sunflower seeds, a book and sit on the patio, listening to the Adhan. It’s a small but beautiful moment I look forward to every day. I’ve also made Friday night dinners something special – dressing up, splurging on a nice restaurant, and treating myself. These rituals brighten my week and give me something consistent to look forward to in an ever-changing environment.

6. Fear, Anxiety & Control

My lessons on the road have also revealed fear, anxiety and control are besties. They live in the same house and love to play together. There’s no better way to understand your relationship with fear, anxiety, and control than by traveling alone for an extended time. These feelings will appear in many forms: delayed flights, lost baggage, no Wi-Fi, language barriers, power outages, wrong directions, unpredictable weather, incorrect bookings and more. When stress or unforeseen events happen, you have no one to rely on but yourself. There’s no partner or friend to shift the blame to or vent with, it forces you into radical self-reliance and responsibility.

I’ve learned to prepare as best as possible to keep this trio at bay. For example, I purchase entry visas online whenever possible, research and download local taxi apps before landing in a new country, and make sure I understand safety and cultural norms. I also carry excellent travel credit and debit cards that can help me navigate emergencies. Having accommodation details and host contact numbers accessible offline is crucial, just in case. While I plan for anything that could go wrong, I also expect the best. This planning & mindset is essential, especially for solo female travelers.

When I was in Nairobi, my phone was stolen right out of my hands. It was a coordinated crime between my Uber driver and a motorist. With just a few hours before my flight to a more remote part of Africa, I needed to replace my phone. The phone shop didn’t accept credit cards, and I had to pay in cash. Luckily, my Schwab travel debit card has a high daily cash withdrawal limit, so I could get enough money on the spot to buy a new phone. That card saved me from waiting two weeks until I got to Europe to replace it.

7. Staying Creative

If comparison is the thief of joy, then expectation is the thief of creativity. Nothing disconnects me from my creative flow faster than getting upset when things don’t go my way. Suddenly, my energy is singed and I’m caught in a downward spiral. When this happens, I’ve learned to take a time-out and reset. I start by asking myself – What can I learn here? What if this is all happening for me? By staying creative with my thoughts and avoiding a victim mentality, I can navigate what’s next with ease & flow. After all, everything is figureoutable.

I was on a flight from Lima to Cusco at the beginning of this year. Midway through, the pilot turned the plane around due to the weather. Back in Lima, everyone was stressed about luggage and missed plans. Refusing to accept that I wouldn’t make it to Cusco that night, I quickly called the airline and talked my way onto the next flight out. I scored a seat just before they closed bookings. Staying creative and persistent, rather than annoyed and angry, got me to Cusco that night!

Travel is a Mirror

Travel is a mirror. Reflecting on these lessons I’ve learned while living on the road, I realize it is as much about the inner journey as the outer one. Every new experience and challenge expands us, making us more dimensional, capable and confident. The road reveals lessons we didn’t know we needed, showing us aspects of our mindset and personality that require adjustments. It asks us to release expectations and trust in the unfolding of each moment. Calling us to listen deeply to the divine guidance that is always available. Each step teaches us that the unknown isn’t something to fear but a doorway to something bigger – and someone better. This growth edge is a fascinating place to dance and co-create with life.

All my love, B

PS ~ While embracing solo travel, check out our 7 reasons to embrace eating alone!

1 Comment

  1. Ali
    October 16, 2024 / 5:23 am

    So proud of all your adventures and thanks for sharing your reflections!

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